The power to feel more confident and potentially change your life is in your hands – here are a few tips to get you started
Posture
Stand up straight and keep your shoulders back – A popular piece of advice given to people who are about to interview for a job they really want is to stand in the ‘Superman’ pose for two to three minutes before going in. The pop psychology behind this is that there’s a connection between power posing and a more positive self-perception, meaning that you’ll feel less nervous during it. But instead of waiting for a big speech, interview or presentation to adopt this stance, why not start today? You don’t have to go around with your chest puffed up and your hands on your hips but by simply standing straighter and moving your shoulders and neck back, you will automatically feel more assertive and confident that you are where you’re meant to be.
Speech
Slow down and speak clearly – When we’re unsure of ourselves or don’t want to be judged for our opinions, we speak faster or mumble, ready to retract or revise any statement that may be negatively received. It is also typically symptomatic of someone who doesn’t believe they’re good enough or deserve to be listened to – and therefore, don’t express themselves fully. Confident people command the room by speaking slowly and clearly so that each person, regardless of age or hearing capabilities, knows exactly where they stand on whatever topic is being discussed. This comes with practice but is an easy one to start right away.
Appearance
Pick out three things you like when you look in the mirror – What are your best features? It’s not always easy to look in the mirror and admire what we see but it’s important that we do. In order to present a confident appearance to the world, we first have to feel happy about what we see. You don’t have to lie to yourself but pick three things you like, no matter how small, and tell yourself why you like them. It could be anything from your eyebrows to your nose or your hands. Think outside the box!
Take care of your teeth – Nobody likes to be told to ‘smile more’ but the truth is that smiling is a powerful way to connect with someone you have just met. It puts people at ease and as a result, makes you someone they want to spend more time with. If you don’t feel comfortable showing your teeth when you smile, pop into your local dentist. While adult braces are always an option, a quick cleaning or whitening treatment might be all you need to feel more confident and open up a whole new world of connections.
Dress in a style that suits you – Trends come and go and they are definitely not for everyone. If you have time, try on different styles of dresses, trousers and jackets to find the one that works best for you. If you can afford it, have a session with a personal shopper who will help you discover the best options for your shape. Knowing you look good when you leave the house will automatically boost your confidence.
Ask your hairdresser for advice on a style that suits you – Don’t underestimate the difference a great haircut can make to your confidence! Your hair frames your face and is the one thing you wear every day so it’s important to feel good about it. And while we all might want to look like a certain celebrity with stunning locks, it’s important to factor in the type of hair we have, the time we have to style it, and how often we’re willing to get it trimmed or re-cut. Your hairdresser will have the answers so take the plunge and ask for their opinion.
Natural talents
Find out what you’re good at and do more of it – We’re all guilty of spending too much time watching Netflix or scrolling on our phones. As a result, we think we don’t have time to do the things we were good at as children or what we loved as a young adult. Take a few minutes to think about what you love doing or what puts you in a ‘flow state’ where you forget everything else around you. Do more of that and feel your confidence start to rise.
Brain development
Go back to school – It’s easy to feel intimidated by people that we deem ‘smarter’ than ourselves. However, if there is something that you’d like to know more about or an instrument you wish you’d picked up years ago, why not do a course in it now? There are thousands of free courses online as well as community colleges and local adult learning centres that have a myriad of subjects for you to choose from. If you don’t have time for a course, download an app like Duolingo and start learning a new language. It’s great for your brain and it’s definitely a confidence-booster!
Change your mindset
Do something nobody expects you to do – Have you ever heard the expression, ‘If you wait until you’re ready, you’ll be waiting the rest of your life’? It means there’s never a ‘right time’ to do something. There will always be a sensible reason why you shouldn’t book that round-the-world trip or switch careers or do a sky-dive. But the truth is, today is all we have and if there’s something you’ve always wanted to do that you’ve been putting off, now is the time to do it. The urge to stay in our comfort zone is strong but perhaps, think instead of the Erin Hanson quote:
‘What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?’
