Launching a podcast on ageing in Ireland earlier this year, Terry Prone shares her thoughts on getting older.
Grey Matters, the podcast, explores the realities, challenges, and triumphs of growing older in Ireland – hosted by Terry Prone and Fergus Finlay.
Establishing herself as a trusted and engaging voice on ageing and later life, Terry chats with us about why age should never be a barrier to ambition, and how, in her 70s, she has no intention of retiring.
Grey Matters has struck a chord with listeners. Why do you think people are so eager for honest conversations about ageing?
Older people are mad as hell about the way they’re caricatured and categorised and the success of the podcast indicates that they’re not going to take it any more.
They’re seen as “bed blockers.” They’re always falling over and breaking their hips. They have to be placated in the annual budget. They’re out of date: Dad jokes and Your Mother’s Jeans.
This was exacerbated by Covid. For a while, during the pandemic, older people appeared every single night on the main news bulletin in subordinate helpless roles. Theirs were the shiny wrinkly hands on the top of walking sticks. They were the ones gratefully waving to neighbours who had left cartons of groceries on their doorsteps.
They’re perceived as done, past it, over. God love their poor middle-aged kids, caught as they are between difficult teens and even more difficult aging parents.
Was there a particular moment that inspired you to launch the podcast?
Yes. I was in Boston airport, walking between terminals and a bunch of teenagers were horsing around in a corridor when one of them called out “Hey, careful of the granny behind you.” Meaning me. It was demeaning without intending to be – the guy was actually trying to make sure I didn’t get knocked over. But granny? What?
That was when I began to think about the podcast. The choice of partner was easy. I’ve known and loved and disagreed with Fergus Finlay for the guts of forty years. The spark between us is one of the key things that’s led to the podcast being a success. Plus, no offense, he’s the right age.
You’ve spoken about having no intention of retiring. What continues to motivate you?
Ideas, controversies, people, discoveries. I happen to chair The Communications Clinic, so I’m lucky. I work on the single most interesting topic in the world. Communications is how people express love and hatred, how they learn and grow. You simply never have a day that’s the same as any other day. Plus I am surrounded by colleagues who are interesting. Boredom is the worst thing in the world – research shows it. I cannot think of a staff member in The Communications Clinic who bores me, and some of them are pure magic, so I love to see them coming because I know I’m going to learn something or have a laugh.
Plus – nearly forgot this – they pay me. Money doesn’t solve all problems, but there’s a lot to be said for it. It’s a form of freedom.
You also often speak about confidence growing with age. Why do you think that happens?
The worst has already happened. When I was younger, I was always expecting to make a major mistake, cause my company to fold, kill my baby by accident (when I had one) crash my car or burn my house to the ground. The worst that happened, in that line-up, was a spectacular car crash in which I broke every bone other than my right arm. But I was out of the wheelchair in a year and back on the road. None of the rest happened and it’s now a bit late for me to start on my catastrophe list.
Plus, I think as you age you care less about what people think about you. You’re less likely to go doomscrolling through social media to annoy yourself with what people you don’t know hate about you.
What conversations about ageing do you think Ireland still isn’t having?
The radical ones. About re-framing how we see aging. Thanks to nutrition, improvements to the environment, better education, we’ve been handed a decade or two of extra time, compared to what our parents and grandparents had. You heard any public debate about how to make the most of that extra time? You heard any conversation about how older people should be seen as a nationally contributing asset, rather than a liability? No. Me, neither.
Looking back, what advice would you give your younger self?
You’re going to have the best job in the world with the best and brightest people you could ever know. You’re going to fall in love with the most generous, funny, clever, gorgeous man and he’s going to fall in love with you. You’re going to have a son who is interesting, reflective, hard-working and talented.
Yes, you’ll have losses. But be grateful for the good times.
What would you say to someone who feels they’re “too old” to start something new?
Get a grip. No, seriously, get a grip. You’ll be a long time dead. Why hurry to meet that? Every day and every person you meet every day are about possibilities.
