In our series, Growing Up Irish we chat with Irish people of note on their upbringing in Ireland and how it shaped them into the person they are today.
Kevin Twomey is one half of the I’m Grand Mam podcast, who he hosts alongside colleague and best pal, PJ Kirby. Growing up in Cork, Kevin shares how his upbringing impacted his life and the pride he feels as an Irish man now living in London.
Where did you grow up and how would you describe that place to someone who has never been before?
I grew up in Douglas in Cork and I lived at the very top of Donnybrook hill. It’s the last stop for the 207 bus which to this day still stands in my favour when I go home for a few days as a perennial passenger princess who has never learned how to drive. I had the best of both worlds really as I was only about 20 minutes from the city and the same distance to the coast. Being from Cork, one would assume that I’m going to mention how unbelievable the place is and how I can’t fathom why anyone would choose to live anywhere besides Cork and how Cork people are in a league of their own but I’m not going to do that.
I grew up in a big estate with over 200 houses which was the dream really as it meant there was never a shortage of people to hang around with. However about 20 houses in the estate were bungalows and for reasons unknown we decided that the people who lived in the bungalows were our arch enemies. We would play them in football matches that would always end in a scrap and their houses were typically first in the firing line when it came to picking targets for runaway knock. It all sounds a bit West Side Story except we were divided not by social class, but by the absence of a staircase.
Douglas is technically a suburb of Cork city, but it still feels like its own town, busy and familiar. The traffic in Douglas has always been chaotic and even though we went to local schools we would always have to leave quite early in the morning to get there on time with Gift Grub on TodayFM acting as the soundtrack for the majority of our commutes. A few new coffee shops and bakeries have opened up in the area and when I go home to Cork for a bit I’m only too happy to pay them a visit.
What’s your earliest memory of growing up in Ireland?
One of my earliest memories is my first day of primary school. I remember being so excited to start as both of my brothers were already in the school and I felt like I was missing out. My mam dropped me off and left me in the capable hands of Miss Buckley and I couldn’t fathom why some children were roaring screaming when saying bye to their parents. Was this not the big day we’d all been waiting for? I had a Space Jam backpack and I was revelling in parading it around in front of my peers. I felt really strange but I remember thinking this was just the feeling you get when you start big boy school. It turned out I actually had the mumps, and in the space of two hours while my mam was off having tea and biscuits with the other parents, I’d taken a turn for the worse. My face was all swollen and when my mam came back to collect me her jaw hit the floor next to discarded pieces of Lego and play-do when she saw my distended cheeks. I just remember being gutted that I had to miss the rest of my first week of school.
What did being ‘Irish’ mean to you when you were young – and has that meaning changed over time?
Irish was one of my favourite subjects in school growing up. I was particularly jealous of friends that I had who went to the gaelscoil. I couldn’t cope with the fact that they were all practically fluent and all had a better standard of Irish than me even though we all spent the same amount of time in school and they were all so nonchalant about it. I used to write a new Irish word on my hand every day and look at it at regular intervals in the hopes of improving my vocab. I also used to watch shows on TG4, again to try and get better at the language but also because some of those shows were absolute gold – bring back Paisean Faisean, Eochair an Ghrá and Shabby Go Chic. What a time to be alive. Though I didn’t fully understand the historical or cultural weight of it at the time, I remember thinking it was quite special that we had our own lovely language on this small island of ours. A few passionate Irish teachers of mine really hammered home the sentiment: “Labhair í agus mairfidh sí.” and my mam always really encouraged us to speak it and I’m really glad that she did.
I think moving away from home made me fall in love with Ireland even more. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I suppose. I came to London to train in the performing arts, an industry where standing out is key, and being from Ireland always set me apart. I remember after one audition I thanked the panel with a “thanks a million” before leaving. The casting director stopped me, asked me to say it again, and then smiled: “I love when the Irish say that”.
I also lived over here during a period of huge social change in Ireland, and I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of pride during the repeal of the Eighth and the marriage equality vote. This was the Ireland I loved telling people about; a progressive, compassionate country that chooses empathy and fairness. Like for the most part I think we’re fairly sound.
Are there any particularly ‘Irish’ traditions in your family?
Myself and my siblings all had very different interests growing up but one thing that united us was our disdain for the annual Twomey tradition of ‘going for a spin’. Once the weather started to pick up my dad would select a random weekend for us all to cram into the back of his Mondeo, void of any information on where our destination was or how long the journey would be, armed only with the radio and each other to keep ourselves entertained and fuelled by ham sandwiches and a few queen cakes that my mam prepared earlier that morning. At the time seatbelts weren’t really a thing which sounds kind of bonkers but it’s just the way it was before the world went woke (🤪) and it meant 4 of us were in the back of the car and we had to sit one forward, one back just so we’d have room. I think it was not knowing how long we had left that used to send us spiralling. We’d typically end up somewhere in West Cork or sometimes we’d make it as far as Kerry before kicking off completely and as much as we were all allergic to it, I also have so many fond memories of those trips and looking back I’m glad my dad made such an effort for us to do things as a family, even if it was against our will.
My mam did most of the cooking in our house growing up but on Saturday evening my dad would take the reins and do a fry up. Most items on the menu were less cooked more cremated, but we all liked it that way. To this day if I’m getting a buffet breakfast at a hotel I’ll always opt for the rashers that look the furthest from resuscitation. My dad didn’t drink but on a Saturday night himself and my mam would go out to the pub and my nan would come up to the house to mind myself and my siblings and we’d drink tea and watch Criminal Minds. We’d stay up until my mam and dad came home and usually they would have stopped in the chipper en route and we’d share a bag of chips.
We also had a ‘good room’ growing up that really was only utilised if there were visitors. It was a small extension that we got on to the back of the house and I remember thinking even at an early age that it was a bit outrageous that my mam and dad spent all that money on a room that was getting used all of once a month.
How do you carry Ireland with you when you’re living and working abroad or on a global stage?
I think a big part of the podcast’s success has been how fully we’ve leaned into our Irishness. We’ve never shied away from it. Even in the early episodes we used plenty of Cork slang like “allergic” and “weak,” and listeners loved it. Some of the themes we choose are very specifically Irish, and there was always a fear that we might alienate an international audience who wouldn’t have a clue what we meant when we talked about going to Irish college or setting up a mini-company in Transition Year. But it’s always easiest, and truest, to speak about what you know. We’ve learned that authenticity is what people really respond to. For Irish listeners living all over the world, those familiar references create a sense of connection to home and even for those who aren’t from Ireland, there’s something compelling in discovering these things for the first time, they’re drawn in by the storytelling.
What’s the most Irish thing about you?
I would say my big Irish head with my rosy cheeks and long eyelashes and the fact that I take Barry’s tea bags with me when I go on holidays.
