Louise O’Neill is the cover star of the November issue of Irish Country Magazine. In this snippet from the cover interview she chats to Acting Editor Niamh Devereux about reframing the scarcity narrative.
When author Louise O’Neill became single again at the age of 38, she was confronted with the idea of the scarcity mindset – a rhetoric she believes is responsible for keeping women in their 30s stuck in bad relationships.
Debunking the theory as a myth, Louise explains: “There’s the idea that as women move through their thirties, time is running out and a romantic partnership, marriage and children become increasingly urgent,” she says.
“We have been told for such a long time that if you’re over 35 you may as well be dead – nobody will be interested in you, all the good ones are taken so you’ll have to settle for what you can get,” she says.
“I think this rhetoric is keeping women stuck in bad relationships or even just relationships they know in their soul is not the right one because there is this idea pushed that there isn’t anyone out there.”
It is here that Louise found a shift, and urges other women on alternative paths to do the same.
“(the breakup) was the catalyst, the sudden understanding that I had been sleepwalking through life and on this slow-moving train that I couldn’t jump off from, despite knowing I wanted to. It was the push to figure out what life I want, not what society or my friends and family tell me I want but what do I want for myself.”
Sharing an anecdote from a friend who went through a breakup in her mid-30s, Louise explains the words of comfort she gave her:
“I told her that I’m actually really excited for her. Because as hard as it is now, as awful as the grief and the heartbreak are, there is so much fun and adventure and excitement waiting for her. That’s a message we rarely hear.”
Pick up the new issue for the full feature, where Louise also talks about how she juggles her public and private persona, feelings she repressed for years and how Clonakilty will always be her safe haven.
Discover all that and much more in the November issue of Irish Country Magazine. Find your nearest stockist here, or to subscribe and never miss an issue, click here.
