Understanding your body and knowing your normal can completely change the way you view your sexual health.
Dr Sorca O’Brien, Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist and expert contributor to RCSI’s education and outreach programme Debunking The Myths: The Science Behind Our Sexual Health answers some commonly asked questions around sexual health. She explains how tuning into your own body can strip away shame, combat social media anxiety and help you to understand when to seek medical attention.
“Knowing your normal isn’t about fitting into a mould,’ explains Dr O’Brien. ‘It’s about developing personal body awareness and learning what’s typical for you so you can spot genuine changes. Our bodies constantly evolve through puberty, menstrual cycles, medication changes and aging. Equipping yourself, your teens or your students with evidence-based information is the best way to replace anxiety with confidence.”
Q: What does “knowing your normal” really mean?
Dr Sorca O’Brien: “Navigating changes to your body can feel overwhelming for both teens and parents, especially when bombarded by images online. ‘Knowing your normal’ means focusing on your own baseline rather than comparing yourself to filtered photos on social media.
Becoming familiar with how your body usually looks and feels, and how it changes over time, is key. Get used to how you look at different stages of the month as your hormones can change daily, impacting how we look and feel. Puberty, periods, hormones, contraception, pregnancy, breastfeeding, medication and ageing can all affect the body.
The lack of realistic and diverse anatomy in sex education, media and online imagery can be scary, but the last thing you should feel towards your own body and mind is fear. Pornography, social media, filters and cosmetic advertising can create unrealistic expectations and any myths linking appearance with cleanliness, sexual experience, attractiveness, fertility or “normality” is simply wrong.
Checking in with yourself is a healthy habit to adopt and should not become a source of anxiety or compulsive reassurance-seeking. If you notice a significant change but are unsure whether it matters, speak to someone you trust or consider asking a healthcare professional for advice to put your mind at ease.”
Q: Why are so many people self-conscious about the appearance of their genitals or breasts?
Dr Sorca O’Brien says: “Insecurity usually stems from a lack of realistic representation. In reality, diversity is huge:
- Breasts & chests: Asymmetry in size, shape, density, and nipple appearance is completely normal. It also is very common for one breast to be a slightly different size or shape than the other.
- Genitalia: Labial and vulval size, colour, and symmetry vary from person to person. For those with testicles, it is entirely typical for one testicle to hang lower than the other or differ slightly in size.
Skin and hair: Natural scent, stretch marks, skin pigmentation, and varying amounts of pubic and body hair are normal features driven by genetics and individual hormones.
Appearance alone rarely tells us whether a body is healthy or “normal”. New, persistent or symptomatic changes are what should prompt a conversation with your GP.”
Q: What body fluids, skin, or hair changes are normal? And what signals it’s time to see a GP?
Dr Sorca O’Brien says: “It can be helpful to separate harmless daily variations from signs that need a quick medical check.
Normal variations:
- Vaginal discharge: Clear or milky-white discharge that shifts in texture and amount throughout your cycle, accompanied by a mild natural scent.
- Breast/chest tenderness: Minor swelling or tenderness linked to your menstrual cycle.
- Body hair: Gradual hair growth patterns unique to your hormones.
Changes to mention to your doctor:
- Skin & tissue changes: Persistent itching, burning, redness, sores, blisters, or new/unusual lumps in the breasts, armpits, vulva or testicles.
- Noticeable discharge changes: A sudden shift in colour (e.g., green), texture (e.g., thick, cottage-cheese-like), or a strong foul odour, especially if paired with pelvic pain or discomfort when urinating.
- Unexplained bleeding or penile discharge: Penile discharge (other than semen or urine) or irregular bleeding between periods/after sex.
- Sudden hormonal signals: Rapid, significant hair growth or sudden hair loss, particularly when paired with irregular periods or severe acne.
Q: How can parents and teachers support teenagers as their bodies change and grow?
Dr Sorca O’Brien says: “I always encourage parents and teachers to use inclusive but plain language and avoid jokes or shame. Respond calmly to questions, even when they feel unexpected and if you do not know the answer, say so and look together for a trusted source together. For young adults, remember that your parents were once teens too, so don’t be shy to seek guidance from an adult!
For teachers, setting up an anonymous question box in class can be incredibly effective, as teens are often relieved to find their classmates have the exact same queries. Signposting to reliable resources, such as Debunking the Myths, rather than attempting to diagnose symptoms yourself is the best path forward. Never ask a student to show or disclose intimate symptoms, ensuring their safety is key.”
“Knowing your normal is not about comparison or cause for stress. It is about having the language and confidence to understand your body, recognise a change and ask for help without embarrassment. We all deserve accurate information, respect and shame-free care.” concludes Dr. O’Brien.
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