Dublin makeup artist Elaine Cruz is challenging that narrative that women must put their lives on hold while dealing with peri/menopause.
Did you know that 48% of women experiencing perimenopause or menopause have put activities they once enjoyed on hold? New research from Holland & Barrett Ireland found that almost half of women will put the things they once enjoyed on hold as they navigate this time in their lives. Chatting with makeup artist Elaine Cruz, she encourages other women to live by her mantra ‘if not now, then when?’ as she herself navigates a perimenopause diagnosis.
Here’s what she has to say:
Tell me about your experience with peri/menopause and putting your life on hold.
I had my first conversation with my GP came after a bout of your standard illness, where after 6+ weeks I couldn’t make it through a day without needing a 2/3 hour nap and feeling like I’d been run over. I thought with feeling this exhausted I must have something viral. I was very surprised when my GP mentioned Perimenopause. But after blood tests confirmed ovulation was in full swing, the conversation abruptly ended there. However I am continuing to research and seek advice elsewhere as I know how my body feels and how the changes are affecting me daily. And it’s too easy to take no for an answer and put living life through this stage on hold and wait for the storm to pass.
Why do you feel so many women enter this state of putting their lives on hold during this time.
I think life can get put on hold for many reasons, waiting for answers, finding the right medications/supplements, support etc but also waiting to feel like yourself again can keep us at a stand still. Waiting for your body to look, feel, and respond like it always has before resuming activities and regular scheduled programming is a slippery slope we don’t always realize we’re sliding down. And before we know it life has moved around us and we’ve put ourselves on hold.
What advice can you give to other women navigating this time?
My best advice has also become my mantra this year- If not now, then when? Now is the time to stop breaking promises to ourselves. Nobody likes letting other people down but self betrayal is the hardest pills to swallow. So many of us women have spent years prioritizing others, be it raising children, building careers, taking care of family etc and prioritizing ourselves can often feel selfish. But none of us are getting out of this alive and we can’t unsubscribe from peri/menopause, so if not now, then when? Make yourself a promise – move your body in a way that feels liberating, strong, fun, empowering. Say no! Say yes! To old hobbies, to new adventures, fail brilliantly. Life is not stopping and now is the time to be unstoppable.
What does Ireland need to do better to support women during menopause?
Campaigns like Holland & Barrett’s recent one are absolutely vital as I believe having and continuing this conversation is paramount. Most of the women around me are learning more in real time while in the depths of it but we’re learning, we’re talking, we’re confused in unison and out loud which I only see as a positive. The day of “women’s things” being shrouded in mystery and often shame are gone and I love us for that. And the conversation is still vital for the women who’ve gone before us who were shushed and often shamed by confusion and a lack of education. And I hope their experiences somehow feel retrospectively validated. They deserved better. We need more information, more understanding and more support from medical professionals who see beyond an age bracket and a blood test. Advocating for ourselves might be necessary to be heard and to get the support we need but it’s also exhausting and shouldn’t be this difficult.
